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This is a real question: Why do a lot of men/boys hate (yes, hate) women that voice their criteria in choosing a partner? Even when the criteria is sane and responsible. Besides it being, sadly, an effective mating strategy, why does it exist?

10.06.2025 06:50

This is a real question: Why do a lot of men/boys hate (yes, hate) women that voice their criteria in choosing a partner? Even when the criteria is sane and responsible. Besides it being, sadly, an effective mating strategy, why does it exist?

Feeling powerless is closely related to feeling cheated, and it's an easy leap to blame not fate, but the person passing the judgement.

So, a man being judged by how tall he is, how rich he is, how much hair he's got, etc. - it all just reminds them of how powerless they are in these matters.

Being cheated is one of the most visceral negative feelings humans can feel. It's infuriating and deeply humiliating.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

It's a matter of projection.

This is not to excuse such behavior, only to explain it.

Women who tell men their criteria and reject them on the basis of them not meeting those criteria cause the men they reject this way to experience the feeling of being cheated, which they can easily blame the woman for.

Does Taylor Swift actually play the guitar, or is it a prop?

Especially when they feel that they have little to no control over what measure they are judged by.

People always resent being told they are not good enough.